new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today