I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?