Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs. http://tfl.nu/6isi
  Replies (14) Good night (2841) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  how can getting a pizza be this hard?

  (817): View more from Texas

  when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): how can getting a pizza be this hard? (817): when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible http://tfl.nu/zgw8
  Replies (12) Good night (5183) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one. http://tfl.nu/fj7c
  Replies (7) Good night (8835) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat. http://tfl.nu/q9lv
  Replies (17) Good night (4883) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs http://tfl.nu/az3o
  Replies (9) Good night (1476) Bad night (3462)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER http://tfl.nu/g992
  Replies (3) Good night (1101) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  Did you watch the carolina game tonight?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;) (1-803): Did you watch the carolina game tonight? http://tfl.nu/ae37
  Replies (18) Good night (2358) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Alive.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So much puke

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Alive. (978): So much puke http://tfl.nu/8jc8
  Replies (0) Good night (447) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile. http://tfl.nu/y0n1
  Replies (4) Good night (1019) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body. http://tfl.nu/nnda
  Replies (2) Good night (848) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners. http://tfl.nu/yd21
  Replies (3) Good night (1065) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made. http://tfl.nu/7315
  Replies (6) Good night (626) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner. http://tfl.nu/e65g
  Replies (3) Good night (534) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Apparently I'm a "fire hazard" http://tfl.nu/xnbz
  Replies (1) Good night (627) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys. http://tfl.nu/pqxt
  Replies (3) Good night (328) Bad night (293)

Randomize