i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one