please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
