I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
