my vag is so smooth its legendary
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
A+ Viking dick
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So here I am, sexting at work.
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