Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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