Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
