You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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