Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
