I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
