When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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