We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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