dude i'm inner monologue high
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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