I got chris browned last night
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Every concussion has its silver lining
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
