Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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