I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
