Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
