Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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