what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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