That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
