I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
