My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
