we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
