Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm really busy with my period
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