dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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