So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
