I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
