i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
