Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
