she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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