i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
