Don't you send me to vm
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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