I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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