Who wears a wallet chain?!
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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