It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
