She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
