You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
