think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
