Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
