Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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