He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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