My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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