the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
