Tell her she can't have a vagina
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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