I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
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I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
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Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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