Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
