I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
