I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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