My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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