You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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