So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize