So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
