We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This is my gift to your gina
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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