I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
