I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
