and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
