I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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