I could have mohawked her pubes.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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