All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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