Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
